Laser poops and Apathy.

I haven’t been posting at all as of late. I can honestly say that I’ve been pretty lazy. This tummy problem I have and a total lack of sleep may have contributed to that lackadaisical attitude of mine. But I’m not going to make excuses for myself.

I’M BACK BABY!!

my tummy still hurts but that’s probably going to be a permanent thing. Apparently if I eat greasy/fatty foods I will have laser poops and feel like I’m getting stabbed in the tum tums.

I mean really… Who the hell has EVER heard of that?! I’m sorry to be using such strong language but my soul is a bit crushed. Do you know what kind of food has grease and fat?… The kinds of food that I enjoy. I mean wtf? really! pfft. psshht. mmmmgaaaahhhh. ok if I think about it anymore my head and taste buds are going to fail me.

I guess this is what happens after 10 years of a diet that is primarily coffee and cigarettes.

This leads me to my other problem. My total apathy.

I no longer put on make-up, my hair is in knots and I’ve almost left the house in sweat pants. ALMOST. (I don’t believe in going into public wearing sweat pants, gumboots, slippers, most name brands or any kind of jersey material with writing on the bum or boobs).

I haven’t written in a few weeks and all I can think about is the spring that is supposed to be here right now. However my baby is happy and because of this I’m happy. I’m just suffering from a lack of interest in anything outside my house.

That’s going to change. I’m going on a vegan cleanse. Baby Boy and I are going to start taking lots of walks and I’m already planning my new garden. I will go out to have fun and start inviting people over to my home.

Also we (my man-child, actual child and I) will be going of a road trip to my hometown in British Columbia.

fun fun.

until tomorrow friends.

Pfft, Creepy Easter Bunnies and Zombie Jesus.

Hello! How was your Easter? Are you full of the brown stuff?(chocolate) Did you find all the little multicolored eggies?Or are there a few left over that will melt/stink up the place?

Like everyone else in the world I really don’t understand Easter but it’s a good excuse to eat a ton of candy and ham.

I did Easter this year, which is the first time since I was a child. My childhood family is a bit different so we never did the dinner or brunch.

However, when I was a kid I did get to hunt for eggs from time to time. I don’t think I ever found them all and when my mom would tell me I was missing a few eggs I would give up, sit down, start crying. This would make me question my hunting abilities and knock my confidence down a notch. (no wonder I have confidence issues). At least while I was crying I could eat yummy chocolate eggs (no wonder I have eating issues).

So as a gift for you and your families on this most wonderful, misunderstood, confusing and soul crushing of holidays I found my favorite creepy Easter bunny photo.

That poor kid!

On another note did you “get” someone with a rad April fools gag?

I did! I pretended that I was going to give my son his bottle then I pulled it away and yelled “APRIL FOOLS”!! He started to cry which made me feel super bad… so I cuddled the heck out of him and told him I was sorry over and over again.

Sooo Yeah.

I will be resuming my daily posts tomorrow!

Peace!

Give me a moment.

In this moment

I’m truly happy,

I have all I’ve ever needed.

In this moment I am content,

and have been humbled.

I am here when I should not be,

I am where I belong.

So give me a moment to absorb what surrounds me,

because it’s not always been so.

 

-no idea who wrote this, but I like it!

Happy Friday everyone, I hope you have a good moment this weekend!

 

 

 

Pinterest Pass! Glue Balloons. Results.

Its crazy! I thought that for sure this one would be a epic fail!

You judge for your self.

I was supposed to get something like this…

What I got was this…

I like mine because they look a bit more organic, almost like a sparrows nest.

The steps went as follows.

1. Dip yarn in clear drying glue.
2. Wrap gluey yarn around blown up balloons.
3. Wait for it to dry.
4. Pop balloon, remove balloon bits.
5. Enjoy how artsy you are.

I loved this challenge, I liked getting messy and the surprise of it actually looking cool.
I think that this would be fun to do with a older toddler. Non-toxic glue is a MUST. The string took a really really long time to dry. If the sting isn’t 100% dry the structure will fall apart.

My son loved playing with this one…

Cute! Needless to say that one got super crushed. Don’t worry I was watching him the whole time. No babies were hurt in the making of this post.

So For the Glue Balloons,

My verdict: PASS!!

I say if you have the time and want to make some nifty looking things try this one out!

Tomorrow I will be making a letter in a frame thingy.

kisses!

Pinterest Fail, Day 1

Oh… My… God… yikes.

For those of you that are new to the (s)lacking housewife here is the post explaining my experiment

So today when I woke up I had high hopes that this would be a super fun craft. I was wrong!

Not only did it take forever, but, I had molten liquid crayon burning my hands and getting all over my floor.

This is what it was supposed to look like,

I wouldn’t say that it ended up so nice.

Here are the steps that I was to follow. People made them look to easy,

Step 1, glue crayons to canvas with hot glue.

Step 2, tape interesting design on to canvas

Step 3, melt crayons down the canvas with blow dryer

Step 4, pull off tape.

Step 5, MARVEL AT YOUR OWN GENIUS!

For me the steps where going fine until it came to actually melting the Crayons.
The hot glue didn’t stick so the crayons would fall off of the canvas. Eventually I just glued them to a piece of cardboard. Even then they still fell off. The crayon would also pile up in one spot or fly off of the canvas all together.

This was lame!

So after two hours of battling and burning I got this…

Fail

yeah,

I am not hanging that on my wall.

I feel that in you have a lot of time, practice and patience you could maybe make this look cool also, this is not a project I would do with a child. The Lava Crayon would burn their skin.

My verdict: PINTEREST FAIL!!

So now I’m going to wash the crayon out of my hair and off of my face and prepare for tomorrows super happy fun time project.

It is just me or should this have turned out better? Have you done this project? if so how did it turn out? let me know!

Tomorrow, Balls With Paper Pinned to them.

A love letter to Hardisty

I live in a very small community, and I mean small. Around 500 people or so. Like I said before I come from larger communities. So I’m not used to the way things work around here. Everyone knows want you’re up too, what you are doing, what you have said, etc. In the end you always hear what people really think of you. Nothing is kept a secret. But what one town isn’t like that, I mean really.

Having  said that,

I love this place and the people who are here. I can honestly say that I like everyone I’ve met and feel lucky to be here. I didn’t expect to find such a gem of a town in the wilderness of rural Alberta.

When I was pregnant with R. we got so much support from this community. People who where basically strangers welcomed me to the community and gave us the most wonderful gifts. When the ice rink needed a new roof EVERYONE came together and got that sh*t fixed. Every hockey game you will see half the town freezing their butts off to root on their local team. When C. and his rad business partner opened their bar everyone came out to buy some drinks. They seriously have the coolest manager and staff. Also when people see something that they want to change for the better, they come together and they change it.

Although right now I’m so wrapped up in my own life and whats going on with my home and family I’m sure that come this summer I will out and about again. And I have to say sorry for being such a ignorant b*tch before. I honesty thought that because I was from “the city” I knew more than any one of these “rednecks” Oh boy was I wrong and have been proven wrong many times over.

Before I came here I had no sense of pride when is came to the place I lived. One year later I can say that I’m proud of where I live and I’m proud of the individuals around here. (Just don’t piss them off, ha ha!)

They except you for who you are and will give you a helping hand if ever you need it. That’s something you really will not get anywhere else.

If that isn’t cool I don’t know what is.

So to my Hardisty snoops that I’m sure read this blog, Thanks for making this idiot feel welcome and I really love the place we call home. Thank you!

To my other followers Thanks for reading.

Sweet hearts for a sweet heart

A quick little post before the weekend.

Our family friends have the cutest little girl and this weekend is her birthday party. Because I think she is just the sweetest of all sweet hearts. I made her some sugar cookies, while watching Enter the Dragon with Bruce Lee. Such a good movie, I’m a nerd for kung fu. Don’t get me stared on
Legend Of The Drunken Master

But I digress,

The cookies have pink and purple royal icing with party sprinkles. You just can’t have a party without party sprinkles!. It took me 4 hours to finish (but I did take a nap).  I think these are super classic and somehow I didn’t ruin them all. However I did have to eat about 10 broken or defective cookies and of course check for poison. (I say that whenever I steal a bite of food, “don’t worry I’m checking your food for poison!”)

I tried doing the piping bag icing style but I made a mess, so in the end I used a bakers brush. Which is just a clean unused paint brush. I brush on the icing like I’m painting a oil canvas. Thick but no too think.

I’m pretty happy with the results.

royal icing recipe

sugar cookie recipe

I suck at a whole buncha things, but damn am I good at taking naps!

Have a good weekend friends! And make sure to check in on my Pinterest experiment on Monday!

PEACE OUT!

my silver lining

 Today wasn’t easy. I let someone get to me, which doesn’t happen often.

Then the downwards spiral started.

This is easy for me to do. I start thinking about what’s wrong with me and it hurts my heart.

Just when I almost started to cry I saw this…

my baby

I’m not perfect. I have so, so, so many flaws.

I’m totally a whack job,

but I made this little guy, I think he’s pretty great and I’m doing my best.

That’s all I can do.

do my best.

Peace, love and harmony be to you.

A blast from the Past.

After I put up my About page I got a little gift from my pal Catherine.

Maybe you can’t make a dress out of paper clips, but here some evidence you can make clothes out of grocery bags. Weirdo ♥

Her words not mine.

This picture is from 5-6 years ago. That’s me wearing my hottest fashion, a plastic bag vest.

Thanks Catherine!

 

how Pinterest is RUINING MY LIFE!

My brain is just-a-racing when it comes to this subject.

I am a Pinterest junky, like I imagine a lot of people are and I really like the D.I.Y. section, I mean.. really really like! I am constantly pinning and checking out these amazing D.I.Y. projects. but…

HOW COME MY PROJECTS ALWAYS FAIL?!

I can put together the most intricate Ikea furniture, I can follow ridiculous sewing patterns, I can follow any recipe in a gosh darn cookbook. Heck I’m even okay at following road directions to the store. But Pinterest D.I.Y. projects kick me in the bum. For reals.

I imagine that all good housewives are good at D.I.Y. So my next subject is…

Step #2. Be good at Pinterest junk because other housewives are and I wanna make pretty things too!

My plan is to show you what I’m supposed to make, make it, then show you my results. I’m hoping that a bit of practice will help me master this all important housewife tool. I’m thinking I’ll do 5 D.I.Y. pins altogether. One project everyday for a week.

Please suggest projects that you’d like me to tackle.

If I do good then I will become the…

.

OF THE WORLD! 

or just in my mind. whatever.