Laser poops and Apathy.

I haven’t been posting at all as of late. I can honestly say that I’ve been pretty lazy. This tummy problem I have and a total lack of sleep may have contributed to that lackadaisical attitude of mine. But I’m not going to make excuses for myself.

I’M BACK BABY!!

my tummy still hurts but that’s probably going to be a permanent thing. Apparently if I eat greasy/fatty foods I will have laser poops and feel like I’m getting stabbed in the tum tums.

I mean really… Who the hell has EVER heard of that?! I’m sorry to be using such strong language but my soul is a bit crushed. Do you know what kind of food has grease and fat?… The kinds of food that I enjoy. I mean wtf? really! pfft. psshht. mmmmgaaaahhhh. ok if I think about it anymore my head and taste buds are going to fail me.

I guess this is what happens after 10 years of a diet that is primarily coffee and cigarettes.

This leads me to my other problem. My total apathy.

I no longer put on make-up, my hair is in knots and I’ve almost left the house in sweat pants. ALMOST. (I don’t believe in going into public wearing sweat pants, gumboots, slippers, most name brands or any kind of jersey material with writing on the bum or boobs).

I haven’t written in a few weeks and all I can think about is the spring that is supposed to be here right now. However my baby is happy and because of this I’m happy. I’m just suffering from a lack of interest in anything outside my house.

That’s going to change. I’m going on a vegan cleanse. Baby Boy and I are going to start taking lots of walks and I’m already planning my new garden. I will go out to have fun and start inviting people over to my home.

Also we (my man-child, actual child and I) will be going of a road trip to my hometown in British Columbia.

fun fun.

until tomorrow friends.

Pfft, Creepy Easter Bunnies and Zombie Jesus.

Hello! How was your Easter? Are you full of the brown stuff?(chocolate) Did you find all the little multicolored eggies?Or are there a few left over that will melt/stink up the place?

Like everyone else in the world I really don’t understand Easter but it’s a good excuse to eat a ton of candy and ham.

I did Easter this year, which is the first time since I was a child. My childhood family is a bit different so we never did the dinner or brunch.

However, when I was a kid I did get to hunt for eggs from time to time. I don’t think I ever found them all and when my mom would tell me I was missing a few eggs I would give up, sit down, start crying. This would make me question my hunting abilities and knock my confidence down a notch. (no wonder I have confidence issues). At least while I was crying I could eat yummy chocolate eggs (no wonder I have eating issues).

So as a gift for you and your families on this most wonderful, misunderstood, confusing and soul crushing of holidays I found my favorite creepy Easter bunny photo.

That poor kid!

On another note did you “get” someone with a rad April fools gag?

I did! I pretended that I was going to give my son his bottle then I pulled it away and yelled “APRIL FOOLS”!! He started to cry which made me feel super bad… so I cuddled the heck out of him and told him I was sorry over and over again.

Sooo Yeah.

I will be resuming my daily posts tomorrow!

Peace!

OMG Renovations and organization.

Currently our house is under renovations.

We have the downstairs pretty much done but upstairs is a bit lack luster.

Our to-do list is as follows

1. Paint baseboards
2. Put up baseboards
3. Put up light fixtures
4. Make the powder room functional
5. Organize office, baby room, master bedroom
6. Move EVERYTHING up stairs.
7. Take a 16 day nap.

Our Budget is quite small. I’m hesitant to give a exact number so let’s just say it’s about half the normal. To save a few $clams we’ll be doing a thing or two on our own. Most of the house had a very 90’s motif to it… like EVERYWHERE!!! Think Light pink, light dusty blue, gold and flowers everywhere! no joke. The house its self is really cool, the add-on that was done recently is very nice but the rest was definitely far from ideal.

I’ll post some before and afters when I get my hands on them. Promise.

Starting in the bathroom I’ll be painting the bathtub with enamel paint. Apparently you can purchase kits from Home Builders that allow you to re-finish tubs. Currently our tub is a large jacuzzi that could fit about two people. Its very nice BUT IT’S PINK *barf.

If you’re into pink that’s cool. I however do not imagine my dream bath in pink. The counters are fiberglass do they too will get a coat of paint, as well as the pink flower tiles. The toilet has to be changed and the stand alone shower. (the shower may have to come next year).

bathroom

In the master, baby room, office and halls we already put in hardwood flooring. The Hardwood is a light oak. The guy who did these floors did a super good job. Before they were very uneven.

Oak-ish

In the master we painted the walls a light sandy brown, here I’m thinking country oasis, shabby-chic with a big glass closet and drawers. A place for us to retire to when we need to get away. Keep in mind that, A) this room is actually bigger than it looks in this photo B) these rooms are messy because they’re under renovation.

master bedroom

In the baby-room we painted the walls a dark teal blue color. I love this color and I’m excited that it worked out so well. It actually makes the room look taller and brighter. In this room I’m imagining a sort of Star trek-meets-dinosaurs-meets-60’s mod-meets-man cave. Very cool. When baby gets older he will move downstairs and we’ll take over this room. I have no idea what we’ll do with the space. Classy library perhaps?

Nursery

nursery

We left the office white and will be putting up art and family pictures. I think it should stay kinda chill with no distractions for when DH is working.

office

So as the action happens I’ll keep you updated!

I’m always looking for inspiration so let me know what you think I should add!

Give me a moment.

In this moment

I’m truly happy,

I have all I’ve ever needed.

In this moment I am content,

and have been humbled.

I am here when I should not be,

I am where I belong.

So give me a moment to absorb what surrounds me,

because it’s not always been so.

 

-no idea who wrote this, but I like it!

Happy Friday everyone, I hope you have a good moment this weekend!

 

 

 

Pinterest Pass! Glue Balloons. Results.

Its crazy! I thought that for sure this one would be a epic fail!

You judge for your self.

I was supposed to get something like this…

What I got was this…

I like mine because they look a bit more organic, almost like a sparrows nest.

The steps went as follows.

1. Dip yarn in clear drying glue.
2. Wrap gluey yarn around blown up balloons.
3. Wait for it to dry.
4. Pop balloon, remove balloon bits.
5. Enjoy how artsy you are.

I loved this challenge, I liked getting messy and the surprise of it actually looking cool.
I think that this would be fun to do with a older toddler. Non-toxic glue is a MUST. The string took a really really long time to dry. If the sting isn’t 100% dry the structure will fall apart.

My son loved playing with this one…

Cute! Needless to say that one got super crushed. Don’t worry I was watching him the whole time. No babies were hurt in the making of this post.

So For the Glue Balloons,

My verdict: PASS!!

I say if you have the time and want to make some nifty looking things try this one out!

Tomorrow I will be making a letter in a frame thingy.

kisses!

This is so super kick ass!! I’m gonna make this ASAP!
Thanks Pretty Lady!

My Culinary Sanctuary

Kath Vogelmann had asked if I could do a Bloomin’ Onion for her using a Walla Walla from HighCross Farm.  I had never made one before so I scoured the Internet for recipe ideas.

A little back story on me before I continue.  I had gained a ton of weight when I had my two children.  They are now 17 and 15 respectively.  The weight made itself at home.  I decided this year to take the bull by the horns and lose weight the right way through diet and exercise.  I got a personal trainer and decided to cut calories and eat organic.  I have thus lost almost 30 pounds since I started this in March.

This brings me back to recipes for Bloomin’ Onions.  Almost every recipe I saw was a deep fried recipe.  All the nutrition information that came with had the Bloomin’ Onion at 2,ooo+ calories…

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Pinterest fail? Glue Balloons.

 

 I started on my glue balloons and I’m waiting for them you dry. I’ll post as soon as I know how they fared.

Life Changer

What was the one experience that completely changed your life? What happened? How did it change your life?

The one experience that changed my life the most would be when I found out I was pregnant. Most moms can testify to the feeling you get when those strips on the tester turn positive. When your head gets all fuzzy and nothing seems real. Yet somehow you manage to act kinda normal, fooling everyone that nothing is different. When I had to tell my D.H. I think he knew before I said a word. Although he and I had known each other for such a short time, there was no doubt about what we had to do. On that day my life changed forever. Most say its the day your child is born. For me it was the day I found out I was pregnant.

Hoarders

Currently I’m watching the show Hoardering Buried Alive. This shiz is crazy.

I love, love, love this show. Almost enough to become a hoarder so I can go on this show and act super crazy. My fave peeps that go on this show, are the crazy ones. Like this lady I’m watching right now, wants to keep her cockroaches. *barf*

and then she yells at her daughter when she (the daughter) is cleaning out the ten year old food from her gross ass fridge *double barf*and don’t forget the bug poop all over that house. And yet she keeps swearing up and down that she isn’t a hoarder.

The transformation that happens after all the hard work and gagging is amazing.

I know these people have real problems and I should feel bad for them, but, damn are they entertaining.  Besides, I’m four cats away from being a hoarder myself.

-with love,

this wanna be hoarder.

pinterest pass, paper on balls

Yesterday I promised some sweet paper ball action.

Its supposed to look along the lines of this…

I’m not sure if mine look as pretty, but I’m still stoked on my results,

I did two kinds of paper ballin’

for the scalloped looking ones I roughly followed the directions from here  and got the above results. For the poof-like one I kinda just winged it. I’m sure I have seen a million posts on Pinterest for puffy paper balls.

But just so you know this is what I did,

1. cut out 1 million paper circles out of tissue paper.
2. I stuck a pin through the center of two pieces of paper.
3. I stuck the pin into the Styrofoam ball.
4. Ruffle/mess it up so it looked cool.

I hate to say it, this time my verdict is: PASSABLE!!

Although it was very time consuming having to cut out a million paper circles. I think that the results are very pretty.

Warning:

Be gentle with the balls after you complete them. They will crumple or fall apart if you play catch with them. As I had to find out the hard way.

happy pinning pals!

In case you were wondering both baby and I feel grrrrrreat!

Tomorrow on the (s)lacking housewife: 3D stars